Being Honest About Swingers & Erectile Dysfunction

Updated: Jan 8

Erectile dysfunction is a common medical issue faced by many men, including both swinger rookies & veterans. If you have struggled with erectile dysfunction, you are not alone.


Millions of men struggle with some level of ED every year. We have put together some advice on dealing with this condition and hope you find some of the options below helpful. Before going forward, please remember we are not physicians.


We strongly encourage you to speak with your doctor if you are experiencing ED or other health issues. Your doctor is the best source for figuring out which treatment option is best for you.


Understanding the Basics of Erection Dysfunction


In the most basic physical terms, erections are all about blood flow. An increase in blood flow to the penis results in an erection. When blood flow to the penis decreases, the penis becomes flaccid. But erectile dysfunction isn’t as simple as just blood flowing in and out of the penis.



The dysfunction relates to the inability to have sexual intercourse due to difficulty getting or maintaining a sufficiently firm erection. Occasional ED, particularly during stressful periods, is quite common and not usually a cause for concern. However, persistent ED can be a symptom of an underlying health issue and should be discussed with your health care provider.


Some of these physical conditions include:

  • Heart & Blood Pressure Issues

Heart problems are a common cause of ED. Cardiovascular disease and hypertension, or high blood pressure, are common causes of ED. Remember, erections depend on healthy blood flow. If your heart is struggling to function and maintain proper blood pressure, it can cause ED issues. Diabetes, high cholesterol, and kidney disease are also known culprits.

  • Drug Interactions

Certain prescription, over-the-counter, and recreational drugs can create or exacerbate erectile issues. Medications taken to treat depression, anxiety, and high blood pressure can contribute to ED. Excessive consumption of alcohol and tobacco products can also be problematic. Make sure to tell your doctor all of the drugs you take, including those that are not prescribed. Some drug combinations can be outright dangerous. It can also be harmful to go cold turkey on some drugs, so always consult your physician before doing so.


Persistent ED can also signal emotional or psychological distress that can be significant enough to warrant professional treatment.


If we were robots, we could perform on cue without a problem. But we’re human, so things are a little more complicated. Psychological factors have a massive impact on all kinds of performance, and erections are no exception.


Mental challenges are some of the biggest causes of ED in the swinging lifestyle. The stress of needing to “perform” for a new partner, anxiety about comparing favourably to others, and worrying about your partner’s comfort, along with about two thousand other things, can make any situation feel less than sexy and are more than enough to sabotage sexual performance. Almost every man in the swinging lifestyle will face this at some point (probably more than one point).


The issues mentioned above are the most common causes of ED, but there are also many others.



Overcoming Mental Performance Issues

Mental challenges can cause ED issues, but the good news is that you can reduce the impact. Here are several strategies that may decrease the frequency of your ED.

1. Exercise

A good start to dealing with psychological stress is to add in some fun physical activities. Exercising is fundamental to our overall sense of well-being. Physical activity has been shown to reduce stress and improve mental focus. And who doesn’t love an endorphin high?

2. Understand Performance Anxiety

Some erectile issues tie directly to concerns about performing for a partner rather than more general psychological stressors. Performance anxiety lowers your adrenaline level and thus stops you from having an erection for a sufficient amount of time. The only way to conquer performance anxiety is to get comfortable with the person you are trying to have sex with.


How to know if you have performance anxiety:

It’s hard to distinguish between performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction due to psychological factors such as depression and stress. Two tale-tell signs are:

  • Awkwardness and shyness around a partner in situations you would typically feel comfortable in

  • Having a normal erection during masturbation but not during sex

3. Meditate

Meditation and yoga are good ways to release stress and feel calm. Juggling work, family, & a busy swinger calendar cause too much distress. By doing meditation regularly, you’ll experience greater peacefulness and mental clarity. Being at ease allows you to better enjoy your swinger dates & physically perform better.

4. Avoid Porn

It would be wise to make sure you aren’t watching too much porn. Our brain works on habits and stimuli. If you watch too much porn, you can train your brain into developing sexual arousal only when watching porn. Once the body gets used to having an erection during masturbation only, it becomes difficult to engage in intercourse.

Plus, porn creates too many blatantly false expectations when it comes to sex. Dial back the porn and ensure your mind & body are calibrated with reality. Besides, real-life sex is much hotter & sexier.

5. Work on your Self-Esteem

Let’s work on your self-confidence because you have so much to be proud about. None of us are perfect but look at what you have been able to accomplish. Be proud. You have found a fantastic partner. You have made a wonderful life for both of you. You have such a solid relationship that you can explore the swinging lifestyle together.

Remind yourself to have an open mind & work together with your partner. Many swinger men have dealt with ED, so experiencing it makes you more of a swinger than before. It is another badge you have earned. When you think about negative things, always make yourself balance them with positives. If you have trouble remembering all the good stuff, ask your partner for help. A confident mindset will help you perform better in bed & be an even bigger hero to your partner.

6. Get help

One of the best ways to deal with psychological problems is to bring in a therapist. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Seek out a “sex-positive therapist.” They will help guide you through these mental hurdles so you can be more confident, happier, & a better partner.

7. Consider ED Pills

Talk with your doctor to see if ED pills might be an option for you. ED pills can make it much easier for your body to perform even with stress & emotions. Many swingers discreetly take an ED pill not because they know they need it but more as a safety net. Simply knowing they have this option is often enough of a confidence boost to perform without regularly taking it.


Listening to Your ED Issues

If your erectile dysfunction persists, you should visit your doctor. ED can be an early warning sign that your body is headed to a heart attack or another serious medical problem.

Be savvy & invest in your health. Make time to speak with your doctor. Why suffer in silence? There is too much upside to getting a handle on your ED!

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