Let’s be honest – swinging is not for everyone.
While the benefits of swinging are great, there are risks involved. Every relationship has its weak points, and the swinging lifestyle can test those weak points. Making friends in the swinging lifestyle is fun, but the primary goal is to enhance the relationship with your forever partner. The best way to avoid damaging your relationship is to be honest and open about your boundaries, expectations, and fears. Success comes from trust and communication, not taking shortcuts.
The last thing you want is for your relationship to suffer instead of flourish.
Swinging Doesn’t Fix Problems
This means that if you’re already experiencing issues in your relationship, you should hit the brakes right now. Swinging will not fix serious problems in your relationship and can make them worse. If there are trust issues, doubts, or inequalities in your relationship, swinging can excruciatingly expose them. Please make sure you and your partner are on steady ground before engaging in the lifestyle.
This is especially relevant if you’re currently in a situation where one partner wants sex and the other is not interested – known colloquially as a “dead bedroom.” Swinging will not likely solve this issue.
It has about the same chance of turning a heterosexual into a homosexual as turning a low-libido partner into a high-libido partner. If you’re in a dead bedroom situation, you should first seek to work on the problem privately with a trained counsellor. Not only will forcing a swinging lifestyle be upsetting and uncomfortable for your low-libido partner, but it will also turn off potential swinger friends who sense the reluctance or issues within your relationship. If you’re in a dead bedroom situation, there are many resources online to help you begin working on the problem within your own home.
If your relationship has a serious issue, it is time to put down this book and seek a professional relationship therapist. You might even be able to solve your issue faster with the sexy appeal of swinging waiting as a reward. Only after you address whatever situation is causing your relationship trouble should you revisit the idea of becoming swingers.
Swinging changes things …for better or worse
Swinging is a major step in any relationship, so let’s not rush it. You can’t unseen the things that your partner does at a swinging event, and they can’t unseen what you do. It is wise to proceed very slowly and talk privately before swinging, so you both agree to some ground rules. You both should be honest about your comfort level. Don’t say you’re comfortable if you aren’t – unless, of course, you love drama and want to increase the odds of breaking up.
Your partner is super sexy, and they will be doing super sexy things with other people. Are you the type of person proud to have such a sexy partner show-off their sexy talents, or do you tend to be jealous & insecure? Talk, think, talk some more, think some more. Make sure that you are both comfortable with what might happen.
Honestly, many of the changes from swinging are usually positive. Communication with your partner will likely grow more open and honest. Avoiding drama in the lifestyle depends on frequent communication, which everyday life doesn’t necessarily require. This new & exciting secret will be a great fresh topic to keep talking about with each other.
You’ll likely find that swinging empowers you to trust your partner even more. Rarely is anyone completely, absolutely, 100% jealousy-free, even in the lifestyle. You will probably encounter a moment where jealousy and insecurity rear their ugly heads. This is where communication comes in: making those feelings known and talking them out with your partner can help you deal with and defuse those feelings and result in more trust in your partner as you work together to find your comfort zone. Knowing you are working together as a solid team to develop rules & boundaries jointly is a great way to reinforce your trust with each other.
Another positive change? You are likely going to become even more attractive to your partner. You’ll probably want to take better care of your body so you can attract more swinging play dates and last longer during those sexy playdates. You’ll probably upgrade your wardrobe to represent yourself in the swinging lifestyle better. Swingers love looking good for their partners. We might not be airbrushed supermodels, but we want to do our best to look as good as possible.
Even if you never end up swinging, simply taking steps to improve your appearance to attract other couples can help reignite the sexy spark in your relationship. A fantastic way to enhance a relationship is when partners help and support each other to remember how super sexy they can really be. The work and family stress in the vanilla world (aka the non-swinging community) can make it hard for a couple to keep their sex appeal flying high. Swinging is a good catalyst for couples to remind themselves how important it is to maintain a healthy sex appeal for their partner and their own ego.
Can Distract From Vanilla Friends
Another change many people don’t anticipate involves their vanilla friends. You might not be comfortable sharing your new swinging stories with them and want to keep your vanilla world separate from your swinging world. So it might be hard to juggle your existing vanilla friends with your new swinging friends. Having too many friends is a great problem to face.
If you both feel that your relationship is healthy and are open to trying something new, then swinging can be an excellent way to enjoy life. You can relive the giddiness that you first felt when you started dating. You can discover new & exciting things. Swinging is generally a team event. Together you can research it, experiment, and maybe even play with another couple. As you work together, the closer you’ll be as a couple. Even if you never get to the level of engaging sexually in the lifestyle, you can still gain a new circle of friends with positive attitudes and warm, open hearts. There’s plenty of room for vanilla fun before you leap sexually playing!
Remember that swinging is about adding, not subtracting. It is about finding new friends & sexy connections for some hot adult fun. At the end of every swinger event, we all want to go home with the best person – our own special someone. This is a big reason why veteran swingers tend not to worry about losing their own partner. Swingers have spent a very long time growing a great & vibrant connection with their special someone. We love our own partners, and they love us. Spending a few hours showing off our sexy side can’t compete with true love. Temporarily having hot adult fun can definitely take the passion in a true love relationship to another level!
Take Your Time and Relax
Swinging has been going on before you were born and will go on long after you. Based on our experience and research, husbands and boyfriends are often too eager at first. Dear Men, please don’t pressure your ladies. Many ladies who are enjoying the lifestyle took a very long time to slowly become comfortable or at least less nervous enough to try swinging, and that is ok. Trust us. It is worth waiting for your special lady. Now ladies, we also need to chat with you. Ladies usually take longer to become comfortable with the idea of swinging, but once they are comfortable, ladies can often go full speed without a gradual ramping up.
Many men (especially those talking in extremely confident tones) will need some adjusting to the sexy lifestyle that is unlike anything you have enjoyed before. To be safe, please ease into swinging once you feel comfortable and regularly check with your special man because even men have feelings.