Learning Voyeurism Etiquette for the Swinging World

Maybe you have heard about the sex clubs filled with swingers enjoying themselves. Maybe you are even curious about checking it out for yourselves but you don’t know how it all works. Relax, your pals at The Secret Lounge are here to explain it all.


Voyeurism is a very common kink. Plenty of people love to watch the exhibitionists put on their sexy shows. There is nothing wrong for having this desire as long as you go about it the right way. That right way revolves around consent.


This isn’t about invading privacy or forcing people to perform for you. This is all about voluntary sharing between open-minded people.


Each swinger sex club has its own set of rules, so make sure to read them before showing up. If you have any questions or aren’t 100% clear, ask before entering.

Do I need to be nude to watch others?

Possibly. Some clubs are clothing optional (where you have the option to stay clothed while watching others). Other clubs have designated nude areas, where everyone is required to be nude or in a bath towel. Most swinger clubs have the rules on their website, so you can learn them before you go.


How do I know I can watch a couple?

Again, this depends on the club. Some clubs let swingers open the curtains to their playroom windows to let voyeurs look in. The act of opening the curtains is their signal of consenting to being watched. Other clubs have a velvet rope that can be hanged across the doorway to the individual playroom. This signals to other club attendees they can’t enter but can watch through the roped-off doorway. If you encounter a closed door, don’t touch it & definitely don’t look inside. Doesn’t matter if it is locked or not. A closed-door means no looking so move on. Other clubs have play spaces in the middle of the room. If you aren’t sure, you can ask if its ok but please don’t interrupt someone while they are busy having fun.



What about taking pictures?

Remember, how we talked about consent? If no one has actively consented to picture taking, don’t do it! Most clubs have a very strict no-picture-taking policy. Privacy is uber important in the swinging lifestyle. Even if your swinger friends are ok with taking a picture, if you are in a busy club you need to think about all the people in the background also consenting. If you are in a closed room & already gained the consent of everyone in the room and we mean everyone, then maybe you can take some boudoir photos.


What about joining in?

Being a voyeur is fun but not as much fun as being in the middle of the action. Before you go jumping in any sexy piles, remember that swingers aren’t nymphomaniacs and you need to gain clearly communicated consent from everyone involved.


Swinger couples aren’t attracted to everyone. Often one person is attracted but their partner isn’t feeling the same chemistry or one couple is OK with you joining but the other couple might not feel the same way. If there is no four-way connection, then no sexy swap can happen. Even if there is a four-way connection, the sexy swap might have to wait for another night because sex can be tiring.

We should also mention, that you don’t need to join in to watch other swingers perform if they are putting on a public show. If a swinger couple invites you inside a private room to play, then you should be honest if you are open to joining in or only wanted to watch.


Online Options

One good thing from COVID is the explosion of swingers performing online shows. You can check out the webcam sites but most of them aren’t real swingers and are simply going through the motions. If you want to see real swingers, check out Only Fans. There are many real-life swingers that you can find on Twitter and then view their videos in Only Fans.


Mistakes of Voyeurs at Swinger Parties

You can enjoy being a voyeur but remember that doesn’t make you the director. Don’t request or ask for anything. let the other swingers enjoy themselves however they want to enjoy themselves.


Don’t distract them. Sex is intimate so enjoy the show but don’t invade it. This means keeping your noise down. It is not the time to start up a conversation. If you have to talk keep it to a low whisper.

There is a difference between watching and admiring vs. gawking.


Don’t try to make eye contact with the other swingers. Act like you have seen a naked person before and be chill about it.


Yes, it is very exciting to watch real people having sex but still play it cool.

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