New relationship energy (NRE) is a feeling that pretty much everyone experiences when they begin a new and exciting romantic or sexual relationship. Essentially, it’s a state of mind that includes intense giddiness and a heightened sense of arousal and feelings towards a new partner versus a former or current one. In the polyamory lifestyle, the current partner would likely be somewhat understanding, as they likely get NRE when they play with other partners in the lifestyle, too.
That being said, there are some risks of uncontrolled new relationship energy, or NRE that doesn’t seem to ever balance out or conclude. In fact, in poly relationships this is often considered a somewhat dangerous period, as NRE can cause the new lovebirds to make peculiar or erratic decisions. Here are some things to keep in mind if you or your polyamory partner is ‘suffering’ from this common ‘disorder.’
Your Main Partner Likely Loves You More
That’s right. Those google eyes, head up your bum feelings are probably only temporary. However, your primary partner has always been there for you and likely will—unless that erratic new relationship energy behaviors cause some serious disarray in the relationship. (It happens frequently in poly relationships.)
NRE Can Be Addictive
Whomever in the relationship that is in the NRE phase may become addicted to that loving feeling. There are plenty of NRE junkies in the polyamorous lifestyle, which can earn them a bad reputation among others in the lifestyle. Be forewarned, that when this feeling wears off and there is no balance in the relationship, many hearts get broken as the former ‘new and shiny’ is replaced by a newer model.
In closing NRE is expected in poly relationships, but it must not control or consume one’s life. Balance in maintaining normal life patterns can help prevent new relationship—and old relationship—energy burnout.