by Rosie Kay (thiskindagirl lifestyle blog) www.thiskindagirl.co.uk
If I told you I attended a swinger house party last night, what is the first image that comes to mind?
Car keys in a bowl?
Pampas grass outside?
All of the above?
Yeah, my mind went there too when I initially heard about The Playgrounds.
Private house party in rural Northamptonshire? With a bring your own booze policy, hosted by lifestylers for lifestylers; there was no way a bowl of keys wouldn't make an appearance! Or would there? It's time to find out what happened when I visited the private rooms and what you can expect from a swinger house party in 2022.
So, shall we?
What Is The Secret Lounge?
The secret Lounge parties are the creation of Rod and Jackie, who have a wealth of experience within the lifestyle. Having previously hosted their parties at the former Arousals in Dunstable, they have now hosted their 'Naughty Bi Nature Parties' at their own home in Northamptonshire. They also host Frolixxx Parties for adventurous couples and singles. #
The naughty Bi nature party is the only dedicated Bisexual swingers party and aims to bring together a diverse mix of bi couples (both bi), bi single ladies, bi gents and transgender guests. The monthly Frolixx Parties welcome straight/bi single ladies, straight/bi gents, transgender guests, hotwives and cuckold couples.
Where is The Party Located?
I knew the party was in Northampton, but the exact location was only revealed to me after I had confirmed the booking with the event organisers. When I received the event's details, I also received detailed instruction on where to find the venue if driving, information about local taxis, parking facilities on-site, etiquette, rules, and a contact number for the host.
I called a taxi company to arrange a taxi from my hotel, and the fact that I had also been given the postcode of the address made it relatively easy to book a taxi and find the house. The hotel I chose to stay in was located close to Northampton railway station, but if you are unsure of where to stay, there are recommendations on the playground's website.
Who Visits The Party?
The secret lounge parties are pretty niche; especially if you attend on the naughty Bi Nature nights. Guests are expected to be Bisexual or bi-curious, and that includes both parties within the relationship. And if you are a single guy or single girl, the same rule applies. I found that there were several transwomen in attendance, some of whom were attending the event as single women, and some were in relationships. And there were, of course, couples and single men.
I had a great time chatting with guests. I gained valuable insight into what had brought so many people together, and I discovered why they had chosen to attend this event over others in the area.
One woman I spoke to, called Tina, who looked fabulous, shared this with me.
'there's a reason so many people come to these parties, so many of us live underground; we can't talk to our friends and family about what we enjoy, and we are unable to relax and converse freely in normal social spaces. For me, what they do here is amazing. I don't have to hide away who I am, and I know that I am in a non-judgemental environment where I can express myself as I wish.'
Did I Feel Safe As A Single Woman?
Walking into an unknown situation is daunting, and even now, I sometimes feel apprehensive upon arrival at a venue. However, the team at The Playgrounds work really hard to make their guests feel comfortable and safe. From the interaction with the door staff to the hosts checking in with you throughout the night, to the show round I first received, the Secret Lounge care. Like, really care.
They know exactly how it feels to be apprehensive and nervous, but along with giving you a guided tour when you arrive, they also look after you throughout the night. They walk you to your car and are more than happy to organise a taxi for you.
Yes, there were single guys in attendance, but no one followed me around or harassed me.
How Were People Playing?
One thing the guests enjoyed was the social aspect of the evening. And although busy from the get-go, guests were not in a rush to strip off as soon as they arrived. There was lots of flirting, friendly interaction and fun, with couples and singles mixing and mingling.
There was a heavy focus on socialising before any swinging took place, and many people were chatting, playing and taking time out before playing again.
Overall, it was a very laid back night. I didn't feel pressured or like I was being pestered to play at any point.
At around 11pm, people began to migrate upstairs. As expected, there was a lot of Bisexual swapping and soft swapping between couples and singles. Although there was a larger orgy area, with the party being held in a private house, there wasn't the space for a mass sprawling orgy. I found that the environment was very relaxed; you didn't have to get undressed and have sex by a certain time. This meant that guests could explore and experience things in their own time, which in turn created a very informal and intimate environment.
What Facilities Are Available?
It is important to remember that with the party being held in the host's own home, they don't offer extensive facilities like many larger clubs do; however, what they do, they do well.
Set in a spacious 5-bedroom, private house, the hosts convert the space into a relaxing, comfortable, friendly party venue with 4 large, dedicated playrooms and two lounges. There are also large discreet gardens, and the house itself is set in 40 acres of private fields.
They do operate a bring your own booze policy but provide guests with unlimited soft drinks and a buffet! I was informed that they have outdoor space in the summer and are looking to create a dedicated BDSM dungeon for their guests to enjoy.
Costs and Membership
The Secret Lounge doesn't offer membership as such, and if you want to attend one of their events, you can do so by purchasing tickets in advance through their website. There is a verification process that you have to go through. Like many events, the hosts do ask that you have a profile on one of the swinger's dating sites, such as Fab Swingers or SDC.
For full details of their verification process, visit the tickets and events page of the website. They also accept single males, but again, tickets are subject to the verification process.
What Else Do They Offer?
As well as the Naughty Bi Nature Party, the Secret Lounge also offer Frolixxx parties where they welcome Straight/bi single ladies, straight/bi gents, transgender, hotwives, cuck couples for an evening of fun and pleasure. Frolixxx parties are for the sexually adventurous who want to meet other adults in a non-judgemental environment.
Who Wouldn't I Recommend This Party For?
There are several people who I wouldn't recommend Naughty Bi nature for. Firstly, couples who are not both Bi, or at least both Bi-curious; I don't think it's the right party for you. To enjoy the secret lounge, you have to have an open mind and be aware that you will meet bisexual swingers, trans women and people who enjoy different relationship dynamics. Secondly, it's not the type of party where you get involved in a mass orgy, and being social is important to the guests, so be prepared to mix and mingle.
Do I Recommend The Playgrounds?
The secret lounge does attract an older crowd, but with this comes a level of self-awareness and self-expression. The guests are comfortable in who they are and attend because they can be themselves without judgement. From first-time swinger couples to trans dominatrixes to single bi guys, they all felt able to reveal sides to their character that usually remain hidden away and are embraced and supported when doing so.
So yes, I recommend The Playgrounds, especially if you are looking for a party that goes against the grain.
Will I Be Back?
I would love to attend in the summer months to see the house and gardens in their summer swinger party glory!
What Makes This Party Different?
Although the Playgrounds is technically a swinger house party, it has removed itself so far from the stereotypical preconceived swinger house party images that we all hold onto.
They have banished this image in two ways. Firstly, the whole team works really hard to care for each of their guests, and when talking to the host and event organiser Rod, he said that the fact that he can provide a safe and inclusive environment for his guests gives him so much satisfaction. He genuinely wants his guests to have a great time.
Secondly, The Secret Lounge, Naughty Bi Nature Party is the only dedicated Bisexual party night that is held on a Saturday. Yes, there are other events that Bisexual people can attend, but the secret lounge provides their guests with a safe and inclusive environment. Male swingers who identify as Bisexual do exist, but very often, Bisexual guys don't express their bisexual nature in clubs due to pressure from other swingers. After all, it is accepted and largely encouraged for women to be Bisexual or bi-curious, but men not so much.
The Secret Lounge opens its doors to people who perhaps have struggled to express themselves fully within the realms of the conventional swinger club scene and welcome them into their home with open arms.
Well done The Playgrounds!
copyright Rosie Kay