Updated: Dec 29, 2020
For those interested in the swinging lifestyle, it’s best to start slowly, learn the etiquette, and pursue things you and your partner enjoy. Here are 10 tips to help you get started.
1. Chat with Your Partner
Is this something you both want to explore? Talk about sex acts that interest you both.
2. Agree on Boundaries
This is very important, especially as a newbie. Maintaining an open communication about ground rules help maintain trust with your partner.
3. Research Your Interests
This is much easier with the internet at your disposal than it used to be. Visit porn or online sites together to see if there are things you both like.
4. Learn the Rules
Before going to a swinger club, Meet & Greet, or another other lifestyle event, contact the coordinator or review the event details to learn what’s expected and what’s permissible.
5. Arrive Clean and Sober
Treat your first swingers gathering like a first date. Dress nicely. First impressions matter. Having a drink might be fine, but getting drunk will kill the mood.
6. Watch Others
During your first visit, spend most of your time observing. Don’t create drama or try to be the life of the party. Most of the people at these gatherings are “just like you,” not wealthy celebs or sex goddesses.
7. Respect Boundaries
Getting consent is paramount, whether it involves a sexual conversation or touching. Just because another couple shares the same interests doesn’t necessarily mean they want you to join them in bed. The “no-touch” rule also applies to toys that others may bring. If something happens in a public exhibit space, feel free to look but any contact must be consensual.
8. Keep an Open Mind
Not everyone is there for the same reason. Some might have fetishes or kinks that are beyond your hard limits. If you see something you like, explore it more and ask questions. Otherwise, move on.
9. Rejection Happens
You might meet the “perfect” couple, only to find they are disinterested. That’s okay. Don’t let it ruin your evening.
After attending a gathering, talk about it with your partner. Do you want to continue? Should the ground rules be changed? Open communication with your partner is key to success in the lifestyle.