The Swingers Lifestyle Guide - It Begins Here ...
You might have heard many different things about the swinging lifestyle. Perhaps the excitement of exploring casual arrangements leaves you craving the freedom it seems to offer. Maybe you’re tempted, yet it seems daunting because it’s a big and bold move into a new world. All of these feelings appear for a reason. Therefore, we’re looking at 13 top questions to explore when considering the swinging world. You’ll understand what swinging involves and how to explore as much from it as possible.
The reality is that many people believe swinging adds a new dimension to your sex life. You’ll also have opportunities to meet new people, and on the whole, with swing lifestyle this proves to be true. However, entering the world of swinging with a lack of trust or understanding could leave your marriage severely damaged.
So, we’ve pulled together the most pressing questions, giving you a small insight into the swing lifestyle.
What is Swinging?
Swing lifestyle has proved to become somewhat of a mystery for some people. However, this sexually adventurous arrangement commonly involves married couples embracing sexual arrangements with different couples. Commonly, partners will be swapped, although couples will arrange orgies or prefer engaging in situations whereby they simply watch their partners with other people.
Hard Swinging - What is it?
Simply put, the term hard swinging in the swing lifestyle community is known to be an instance where orgies and group sex takes place. Despite this, not all couples are open to hard-swinging despite openly enjoying the adult swing lifestyle.
What Are Swingers?
Swing lifestyle attracts open couples looking to engage in sexual encounters with other adventurous couples. They’re people looking to explore new opportunities and experiences in a consensual way. Married couples seek something different away from their own bedroom, even though acts can take place at their own home.
Becoming Swingers - Why Do People Do it?
Curiosity killed the cat, as the saying goes, and its curiosity that drives many people to consider the adult swinging life styles. Many people are looking to spice up their lives, especially those enjoying a healthy relationship. The idea of discovering sex with new people is what appeals. May people finally discover that sex becomes better after they have explored swinging, and that’s what often appeals. Furthermore, the swingers life is frowned upon, and that adds an element of intrigue and mystery to it.
Occasionally, people find themselves consumed by the world of swinging accidentally, while some will discover swing lifestyle naturally. Others will actively begin searching for the swing lifestyle because of problems with their relationship, so they’re seeking a solution. Additionally, others are trying to keep their partners and believe that swinging becomes the next option for them.
Surely the Swingers Lifestyle is Cheating?
The first answer on offer here is no, swing lifestyle isn’t cheating. When people cheat, one person from a relationship will actively take it upon themselves to embark on a sexual relationship with someone secretly. However, when both partners agree to look into swinging, it’s consensual and explored collectively. Your swingers experience is controlled by you and your partner, so you decide the rules together and openly.
The main factor is that you both want to explore the swing lifestyle together. Avoiding this approach will leave you resenting each other, so forcing it isn’t an option because it simply will not work.
Forget About Romance
In reality, if romance is something you’re looking for, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Swingers are looking for sex and nothing more. Therefore, the majority of experiences will involve one-night stands or some other arrangement with couples. If love is on your radar, then you’re looking in the wrong place because the swing lifestyle won’t work for you.
This might sound strange, but swinging doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love with your partner. In contrast, most believe that their relationships become more loving and deeper once they begin exploring swinging together.
Swingers Life - How to Do it Successfully
To make swinging a success, your relationship has to be solid and honest. It’ll involve a level of respect and understanding between both because exploring difficult areas such as jealousy will prove crucial.
Regardless of the excitement about exploring this new adventure, you might still discover feelings of discomfort or concern, so managing expectations proves vital. Therefore, trying something, to begin with, will give you an idea of what it involves. Swing lifestyle doesn’t suit all people. Therefore, implementing some rules can increase your chances of finding success when it comes to swinging.
Who Are The People Who Embrace the Adult Swing Lifestyle?
Millions of people choose to explore the swinging community around the world. However, that figure is expected to be a lot higher because some people choose not to divulge the fact that they are exploring swinging experiences. Some people choose to openly admit they enjoy swinging, but there are others who don’t want to be frowned upon.
Most people adopting the swing lifestyle are married couples, while studies have identified that many of these people are around middle-aged, although there are no boundaries when it comes to age, so you’ll find people of all ages! Their backgrounds can vary too. You’ll find people who have high profile jobs and those who work in factories and retail; it’s a varied world!
The majority of couples are white and straight, although gay couples do choose to try out swinging too. Religion is something that many swingers follow, while the majority of swingers can be found throughout America and Europe. Despite this, there’s no shortage of swinging clubs dotted throughout Asia.
As you can see, the swing lifestyle is extremely varied and interesting. Therefore, there’s every chance that you know someone who swings themselves.
Is the Swinger Lifestyle Community Couples Only?
Being part of a couple makes it easier to discover the swing lifestyle. However, don’t feel as though you can enjoy swinging if you’re single, although this is no different from being single and venturing out for one-night stands. It’s been discovered that single women find it easier to get involved with couples. However, single men can find it increasingly difficult to be accepted or embraced by the swinging community.
The Swingers Life - Getting into It
There are a number of different answers when you look at getting into the swingers life. Some people get into the swing lifestyle through knowing a couple actively involved in the swing lifestyle themselves. The attraction to swinging then develops until couples begin exploring the new world. Some might say that things begin moving after a night of drunken antics.
There’s one main belief around getting into swinging—the internet. The introduction of the internet has enabled swingers to explore new experiences, especially those who live in quiet areas and might not have friends who are couples. Some choose to post adverts on swinging sites and platforms, while there are plenty of dating sites designed for this kind of thing.
Essentially, the internet has maximized the potential for singles actively looking for something unique, and it’s not stopping any time soon.
Those services that are purely dedicated to the world of swinging might bring more luck to couples seeking something new. These platforms are used by other singles, and they’re open and ready to accept new couples seeking something different. Furthermore, there’s an abundance of swinging clubs dotted throughout many large cities around the world, inviting couples to meet other couples.
What Are the Swinging Rules?
If you believed that swinging came without any rules because all couples simply go with the flow, then that’s not quite right. There is a certain etiquette to follow. Otherwise, you might discover that you are no longer welcome at events or parties because your reputation stands out. The rules can differ from one event to another, so it’s worth exploring them before agreeing to attend an event.
However, it’s common for couples to implement rules of their own. Some couples might agree on kissing rules for intimate reasons while others might only agree to oral sex; therefore, speaking with each other is absolutely vital.
The main thing to avoid in your swing lifestyle is giving away the identity of other swinging couples. You might bump into them while shopping or out walking, but it’s key to avoid exploring how you actually know each other. Furthermore, forget about taking photographs during any events because privacy is considered especially important.
Swinging is also heavily reliant on couples using the right protection and birth control. Mishaps and mistakes won’t help relationships, especially if a woman falls pregnant by someone else. Another thing to consider is STI testing. Frequent testing ensures you’re safe because having sexual encounters with several people severely increases the risk of catching an STI.
If you are someone who doesn’t use condoms in your relationship, then you should consider them if you are swinging. Keep them in your wallet or purse so they’re readily available for you.
Finally, don’t assume that swinging gives you guaranteed sex with others. This isn’t always the case because people won’t always want sex with other people. Therefore, respect becomes a big element of swinging.
How to Be a Swinger - Is There More You Need to Know?
Experiencing problems with your relationship is common but assuming swinging will be the solution is not the best route to consider. The swinging lifestyle can often be one step too far for relationships because jealousy proves to be a problem for people on different levels. So, if your relationship is heavily damaged or you’re both lacking trust, don’t assume that swinging is going to be the answer.
There is an abundance of swinging events and parties. They take many forms, such as cruises whereby you join and pay a fee before spending time with other people who enjoy swinging.
Furthermore, you’ll need a solid relationship to consider trying swing lifestyle, while trust is going to need to be strong. Some people find the thought of swinging a little wild, yet the actual idea appeals. Sometimes, a fantasy should remain as a fantasy because making it a reality can cause problems. However, discussing this with your partner or exploring swinging literature could be enough to fulfill your specific needs.
The swing lifestyle is heavily criticized, and it’s actually resulted in many people losing jobs, family, and friends once their swing lifestyle has been publicly shared. This negative approach still means that people choose to keep everything under the radar. Furthermore, some people assume false names and personalities to conceal who they really are.
Finally, once you commit to swinging, you’re not a swinger for life. You can try it for a few months or a few years; there are no hard or fast rules to how long swinging has to last.
Adult Swingers Lifestyle - Learning More About It
Fortunately, the internet has opened the doors to learning all about swinging and what it involves. One simple Google search will present you with a plethora of information that proves to be hugely helpful. There are forums and dating websites to explore, too, enabling you to maximize your understanding before taking the plunge.
There are many different books that you can discover too and that enables you to spend time reading about it together as a couple. The swing lifestyle won’t work for all couples because, for some, it can leave them feeling slightly strange and weird. Some people feel as though the experience is exciting and fun or could prove to be the answer to your relationship problems. All of this could result in further problems and disappointment, and that is the real difference here. However, if you’re determined to give swinging a try, then learning more about what it involves can make a significant difference to your experience and expectations.
How to Start Swinging - Advice Made for You
Getting into swinging takes confidence and understanding. Therefore, making sure you understand what’s involved and following the right advice can help you get the most from the experience.
Swinging Advice - Agree on the Same Things
One of the most important elements of venturing into the world of swinging is to ensure you’re both clear about what you’re both expecting. Arriving at an event and deciding to explore something you hadn’t agreed on can leave you feeling awkward and lacking trust. If you’ve decided on oral sex only, then that’s as far as you go. Breaking your own rules is never a clever move when swinging.
Lifestyle Swingers Make Rules, but They Can Change
Making rules is crucial when swinging as it ensures you’re always on the same page and in agreement. These rules allow you to begin swinging together, but they don’t have to be set in stone. Of course, one partner cannot change the rules without the other partner knowing while assuming they’ll be cool with it. While you might have started the evening with kissing only, there’s no reason why you can’t explore something else once you both become comfortable with the setting, the people, and the experience.
Ease Yourself in the Adult Swingers Lifestyle
Don’t throw yourself into swing lifestyle by agreeing to attend a private event. It might freak you out and leave you with a bad experience. On the other hand, you might be up for something but not quite sure or feel as though you’re ready. An arranged party or a club could prove to be the best option, to begin with, because of the security it offers. Meeting another couple online for your first experience probably won’t be the best move, so ease yourself in and familiarize yourself.
Make it a Social Experience
Some people venture to swingers clubs only to discover they’re dissatisfied with the experience. They find that some swingers move in their own circles and don’t reach out to other couples. However, this isn’t high school, so there’s no head girl or boy here. Everybody is there for the same reason. Don’t be afraid to approach people because nobody is going to turn you away. Sure, swingers will naturally find themselves drawn to people they know, but sometimes exploring new couples openly with a simple hello will break down the barriers and create new opportunities.
Arrive on Time
Arriving at any party late can feel as though you’ve already missed out. It’s like arriving at a party completely sober while all other guests are already drunk. The same principle remains in place for swingers parties. Once couples have begun having sex, you’re going to feel like the spare part. Get there early or on time and scope out the venue and the people. You’ll feel at ease about where to begin and what approach to take.
Understand the Language & Etiquette
The swinging world and swinging lifestyle are packed with buzzwords and their own language. Therefore, it pays to get to grips with the language as quickly as possible. If a couple mentions hard swapping, then this means that they’re looking for sex with a couple. A woman who arrives at a swingers event alone is known as a unicorn, while there are other terms to consider too.
Avoid Drinking too Much Despite the Swinging Lifestyle
You’ve spent all week looking forward to your swinging event. You’re keen to meet new couples and explore new things, learn all about the swing lifestyle and then the alcohol begins to flow. Sure, a little alcohol helps because it’ll ease you into the experience but drinking too much is a no-go. Getting past the worry won’t be helped by over-indulging, and if anything, it’ll lead to further problems and potentially embarrassing moments. Furthermore, if you’re too drunk, couples won’t want to know you.
Manage Your Expectations
The key to successful swing lifestyle is to ensure you manage your expectations before attending any event. Walking into an event with no expectations could leave you facing some awkward situations. You’re not guaranteed anything when attending a swingers event, and it’s important to remember this. There might not be any couples suitable for you, or you might not be suitable for other couples. Therefore, managing expectations when adopting a swing lifestyle is crucial.
Let Your Woman Fly the Flag
Successful swing lifestyle are often those whereby the woman leads the way. If you’re someone who has a lady who is thinking about exploring a new sexual activity whereby she’s giving you the freedom to have sex with other people, then you’re on the right track. Don’t push boundaries or place pressure on your lady to do things that leave her feeling uncomfortable. Let her control decisions on what you and her both do. Let her take control of everything because when in swing lifestyle, women give the go-ahead, once you accept that everything will become easier.
Take A Step Back Before Making Your Move
Spending hour after hour researching the swing lifestyle online will arm you with relevant information that helps you understand more. However, entering the swinging world physically is a lot different, and no amount of reading or research can prepare you. Therefore, for your first time, attend an event and watch from the touchlines. You can watch and observe, understand what happens and how things work. Once you’ve seen it all, make up your rules and see what happens.
Have a Team Meeting
As a couple, you’re a team, so you should behave like a team when you start your journey into the swing lifestyle. Therefore, to have the best experience when entering the swing lifestyle you should have a mini debrief after every event or experience. This will enable you to discuss what worked, what didn’t work, and whether any further rules need to be added. This discussion provides an open platform that can help your next experience become even better than the last one.
Don’t Underestimate Communication
Swinging successfully rides on communication. Closing up and going with the flow because your partner is enjoying won’t leave you feeling great. Did things go too far, or are you feeling jealous? These feelings are really important and need to be discussed without worrying about arguing or falling out. The swing lifestyle can prove complex, so sitting down together and talking through it can really make a difference.
Implement Clear Boundaries
As we’ve discussed, every couple needs rules when adopting the swing lifestyle, and this makes it important to ensure that everyone feels comfortable. Some swingers might only want foreplay or oral sex, while others might want to do things together as opposed to individually. There are many different elements to swinging that need to be considered because otherwise, problems could arise when couples have no idea of what is expected of them. Some couples seek threesome while others might feel uncomfortable about certain scenarios.
Take Your Time
Your first experience is all about you, so don’t feel rushed or pushed into becoming a part of the scene. Learning about it, watching it, and experiencing it from a distance can help to make the transition into swinging a lot easier. Taking your time will guarantee that everything becomes a lot less pressurized or awkward.
Make Some Signals
Finding yourself in a new scenario or situation can feel daunting. However, once you begin, you might discover that things become slightly strange or odd, but this is natural. To help overcome this scenario, it can help to have some prearranged signals that can help you move away from the situation and feel comfortable. This can be a code word or a hand signal, but they can be used either way. So, if things are going well, they can help to keep things moving along, or if you want things to end, they can work in the same way.
Make Sure Safe Sex is a Priority
Safe sex is crucial, and using condoms and other safe sex options can really make a difference. Furthermore, regular testing is vital for you and others, so it makes sense to arrange regular tests too.
Think About Meeting New People
Once you’ve become familiar with meeting new people and having sex with new people, you should consider looking at spreading your wings. This means exploring new events and people to keep things entertaining and enjoyable. You can choose from parties to clubs and even conventions where meeting new people becomes easier and more open.
Etiquette is a large part of the swing lifestyle. This is because certain behaviors and rules are in place and should be followed. The aim is for everyone to enjoy the experience and to do it safely. Therefore, it can help to understand the specific rules of any events you attend or parties as this will ensure you don’t upset other couples.
The swing lifestyle might not suit every couple, but for those looking to explore new opportunities and meet new people, then it makes for the perfect activity. From trying new things to meeting new people and strengthening your relationship, it comes with a range of benefits.
However, understanding what is expected of you and researching what it entails will ensure you have a good experience.