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WHAT CURIOUS COUPLES AND SINGLES NEED TO KNOW ABOUT BDSM


If you’re curious about what lifestyle couples involved in BDSM relationships are doing behind closed doors, we can only dare venture a few ‘guesses.’ However, that curiosity about the BDSM lifestyle is common, as the Kinsey Institute reports that:

30% of enjoy a bit of spanking in bed.

20% have experimented in bondage and restraint play.

13% of lifestyle couples delve deeply into flogging and whips.

Woman standing over a submissive man
BDSM more popular than you think

And they wrap that survey up with a rough estimate that more than 80% admit to fantasising about being in BDSM relationships. That being said, let’s explore a few basics to fuel your fantasies.


What is BDSM?

A loose acronym for play time terms like bondage/discipline, domination/submission, sadism/masochism, BDSM is ultimately a spectrum term defining ‘power’ relations between lifestyle couples. As a beginner, don’t be too concerned with ‘what’ others do, but focus on what ‘you’ and your willing partner are interested in as you test out the waters.


Have the Talk, Set Boundaries, and Get Educated

Once your partner or partners have agreed to adult playtime endeavours, be sure to set your limits right away (you can expand these as comfort allows). Discuss what ‘toys’ you are willing to dabble in. Will you be tied up? Gagged? Spanked? Will you want accessories?

mature dominate woman in black PVC
A dominant mature dominatrix

Regardless, you will want to assign a safe word or bodily indication of when enough is enough. As a novice, you can learn a lot about the BDSM lifestyle through literature, online, watching videos and even checking out educational courses like those at Kinky Academy can be invaluable to newbies.


Easing into the Lifestyle

Don’t go overboard buying fancy ropes, paddlers, and expensive bondage gear right away. Accessories like stockings, ribbons, hairbrushes, and such serve as great tools for light spanking and bondage play—and they’re ready whenever the inkling strikes.


If you and your partner are seriously committed, you can likely find like-minded couples near you to explore with, so be bold and live in the present moment!


SEXUAL DISCIPLINE IN THE SWINGERS & BDSM LIFESTYLE EXPLAINED


Whether you’re into swinging, BDSM, love being punished or are a mighty dom who appreciates keeping a submissive, the concept of discipline is nothing new to you.

However, those just getting into the lifestyle of submissive/dominant relationships, will appreciate this short starter guide to sexual discipline.


What is Sexual Discipline?

Discipline within the scope of BDSM is comparable to the same discipline received from parents and higher ups in school or work when you make mistakes. However, this special form of correction is highly sexual in nature, and there are varying levels of discipline depending on which ‘rule’ is broken.

So, here’s an overall perspective of the concept of sexual discipline between submissive participants and dominant controllers in relationships.

sex toys
Cuffs and butt plugs

In the practice of sexual discipline, the dominant party sets specific rules that their submissive is expected to follow. When the sub fails to obey and breaks the rules they are punished in a fashion that is often pre-determined for each behaviour.

Disciplinary actions often include punishments that are:

Physical in Nature—Spanking, Caning, Slapping, Biting

Psychological in Nature—Humiliation, Public Shaming, Deprivation

Combination Techniques—May involve both physical and psychological such as bondage.


Misconceptions About Punishment and Discipline

Even harsh punishments to a willing submissive shouldn’t be confused with straight up sadomasochism. S&M is about pleasure, whereas sexual discipline in general is intended to correct misbehaviours that displease the dominant.


This form of BDSM isn’t considered forced abuse, nor is a form of training intended to increase the pain endurance of a sub. In fact, many of these relationships result in adequate ‘training’ that practically eliminates punishments—especially those involving positive reinforcement for compliance.


While being sexually disciplined isn’t limited to those in the swingers lifestyle, it is often a method utilized to enhance play when swinging or to keep partners ‘in line.’

Woman whip submissive man
Many men enjoy the BDSM element within the lifesyle

Enlightening And Educative Details About The Benefits Of Bondage (BDSM)

Learn the Enlightening And Educative Details About The Benefits Of Bondage (BDSM). Bondage (BDSM) is becoming increasingly popular amongst many couples. This is mainly attributed to the fact that more couples are understanding its benefits. The couples who practice bondage are no longer termed to be immoral. Instead, they are nowadays considered to be daring and open minded. Here are some of the primary benefits of BDSM.


Enhances better communication.

Couples who practice BDSM are able to communicate more effectively. Such couples are open with each other in different aspects of life for they know the sexual desires of each other. The couples are open to discussing almost anything for they have no secrets between them. This is an important aspect of any relationship because many relationships fail because there is no proper communication.

Increases intimacy.


Practicing bondage is a perfect way of being sexually adventurous. Therefore, a couple that practices bondage increases intimacy consequently spicing the relationship. With bondage couples are able to move away from the monotonous ways of intimacy. These monotonous ways usually make the relationships boring for the couples get bored from doing the same thing over and over again. But with BDSM couples are able to experiment and such couples usually look forward to the intimate times.


Makes partners more faithful.

Couples who practice bondage are more unlikely to cheat. This is mainly because bondage creates extra ordinary trust. When trust is improved the couples feel that they do not need to cheat for they are enjoying what they are getting from their partners. The couples usually do not have the courage to cheat for if they go to another person, it will be hard to tell the person to practice BDSM. Furthermore, the partners feel obligated to stay faithful to encourage their partners to remain faithful.

woman dominating a man
BDSM Brings partners closer together emotionally

Reduces anxiety.

The couples who enjoy BDSM are also less likely to suffer from stress and anxiety. This is primarily because such couples feel that they are loved and as a result get more self-esteem. With increased self-esteem the couples are able to solve different issues in a more efficient manner. The fact that such couples share a lot of their issues plays a significant role in reducing stress. In addition, the couples get to work out different issues together and this ensures the issues are solved fast.


Improves general health.

BDSM is more demanding than ordinary ways of enjoying intimacy. As a result, the couples who practice bondage get to be more physical. This is an important aspect because being physical exercises the body and this can contribute even in weight loss. Therefore, the number of couples spicing their relationships through practicing bondage has been increasing steadily because more people are understanding the various benefits of bondage.

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